Sunday January 4, 2026 through Friday January 9, 2026

 

** written January 4 **

We're 4 days into the new year and it feels different. I no longer feel the sense of hopelessness that has dogged me since I was notified I was losing my job. May 10, 2024 upended my life after 39 years ! I'm grateful for the 39 years I got as it was 5 years longer than many others got. It was long enough for me to pay off all debt except my mortgage & car so I walked into unemployment knowing I would be able to pay my bills for a time, since I received 6 months severance followed by 26 weeks of unemployment. My inheritance from Mom is keeping me afloat now and when the times comes I will add Social Security, my pension and my IRA into the mix. I still have $48k in my savings and I'm hopeful that will last into 2027. We'll see !

It wasn't supposed to snow today but it's been lightly snowing pretty much all day. It's 4 pm now and though I didn't go to Walmart I did take a shower and changed the sheets on my bed. I also did 2 loads of laundry yesterday and put fresh coverings on the couch yesterday. While my lunch was cooking (pizza), I emptied the trash. I could have gone to Walmart since I'm sure the roads are fine and the snow is very light, but I don't urgently need anything today and I didn't really feel like going out in the cold. It's supposed to be mid 30's by Tuesday so if I don't go out tomorrow I will definitely go out then. Wednesday I'm planning on going to rock & roll bingo !

Today I finally registered an account for my medical care. Looks like I pay nothing for medical, dental and vision ! I totally need to take advantage of the dental as I know I need a couple of crowns and they are expensive ! My plan is to get started on weight loss and then start using my benefits in the spring, so I need to get my fat ass moving !

Yesterday I started watching the series "Pose" on Hulu. I had watched a few episodes when the series came out in 2018 and since it only last 3 seasons I wanted to watch all of the episodes and see how the series panned out. I've learned a few things already ! I never knew that Madonna's song "Vogue" was a nod to the ballroom culture depicted in this series ! I didn't know it was a "thing", which isn't surprising given I'm not gay and have no interest in that. Also, the ballroom stuff went on long before the internet came into being and nothing like that went on in my little corner of the world. I guess I knew about "drag queens" but that's about where my knowledge ended. The series did give insight into the fear of AIDS within the gay community but it also showcased how careless they were about being safe. The world freaked out about COVID and I wonder what would have happened if the same care had been taken when AIDS came to light. I never thought much about AIDS because I wasn't a part of that community and it didn't have any impact on my life. What's interesting is that community ranted about finding a cure and taking better care of those afflicted ... all while continuing to engage in risky behavior. We may not have done as much as we could, but neither did they. Better treatments have come along and more people are living with the disease but that is a double edge sword because gays continue to engage in high risk behavior and way too many people are continuing to contract the disease. I don't understand that. Oh well, enough on that. It's not my problem to solve.

Today I'm catching up with a YouTuber I haven't watched in a few months. He released a raw video today outlining things he's been going through over the past 2 years and to support him, I'm watching all the video's I haven't already seen. He was a victim of domestic violence who was accused of violence and he spent the past 2 years fighting that, only just recently emerging victorious. It's rare that anyone would ever believe a man could be a victim of domestic violence in a heterosexual relationship, but it happens more often than anyon knows. He's rebuilding his life now but had to make the difficult decision to forego contact with the child he had with the woman. He knows she would use the child as a weapon and I think he's smart to stay away. He plans to present his side (and all the documentation!) when the child is old enough to listen and then let him decide if he wants a relationship with his dad. The guy has 4 other children and the relationship with that ex is just fine, so I'm sure that helps ! So I'll be keeping up with his video's going forward, since it's the only way I can support him. Rock on Lone Wolf 902 !

On the diet and exercise front, today is January 4 and I had hoped to "start" today. However, I'm just not in that place today and I'm thinking perhaps a different start date would be a good thing ! Sunday February 1 sounds like a good day to start moving back towards better health, but that doesn't mean I'm going to continue stuffing my face and sitting my ass. I will spend the next 4 weeks changing my habits so that I'm ready to be 100% all in ! I had waffles for breakfast today and that was fine .. but early this after (or late this morning) I had a dozen butter cookies. Then pizza for lunch. I have a hamburger and little potatoes thawed in the fridge for dinner. When I grocery shop I need to get salad greens so that I can start eating salad with my meals again. I'm going to revert to simple salads. Just lettuce, celery, cucumber and dressing. I do have some jars of add in's that I will use up and then be done with. I think all the stuff I added is what turned me off on salad ! Green olives - calories ! Kalamata olives - calories ! Roasted red peppers - calories ! Pickled onions - calories ! Feta cheese - calories !  I will dump all the open jars I have and then take stock of the unopened stuff. My biggest dilemma is what to eat for lunch. I'm thinking of buying a package of chicken breast and cooking it all to have in salad or as a small wrap or sandwich. I don't have a ton of food to "get rid of" this time around. For sweets, I have a Friendly ice cream cake and some lingering Christmas candy & cookies. For carb snacks I have an open bag of Chex Mix and an open bag of pretzels. I also have an unopened bag of Smart Pop, which is an acceptable snack. I have 2 or 3 cans of ravioli and 1 can of spaghetti & meatballs. Not the worst when it comes to calories. I have one pot pie in the freezer. Also not the worst and I will eat that. I have a bag of wontons in the freezer too and I will eat those in small portions as a soup side with lunch or dinner.

** written January 6 **

I spent yesterday on the couch and really got nothing done around the house. It snowed on and off and I just didn't want to go out and face the snowy conditions. I'm glad I waited, because today was snow free, warmer and the roads were clearly in MUCH better shape ! I lingered in bed until nearly 10 am, but I was out the door around noon for a Walmart run. I forgot my list but I managed to buy everything that was on it ! I spent $180 and it looked like I bought nothing. No big deal - I bought a lot of high dollar items like canned cat food for Minnie (2 boxes at $28 each!) and 2 cases of litter ($17 each). I didn't really "need" gas today but I knew I would need it by the time I drove home and then went to bingo tomorrow, so I stopped at Fastrack in Central Square. I couldn't see driving all the way to North Syracuse to go to Delta Sonic since I didn't really need to stop anywhere else. I got home about 1:10 and since the garbage hadn't been picked up I went ahead and put my bin out. Before I went to Walmart I shoveled the snow in front of the garage door and when I came home I put the groceries in the house and then went out to clear in front of the side door, along the edges of the driveway and the front steps. There was a lot of snow on the front steps and with warming temps I'm glad I took care of that today, since it will only get heavier as it begins to melt. I took a break when I came in and had some diet coke and some Chex Mix. Sometime after 2 I decided to go out on the back step and shovel off the snow and reconfigure the shelter I made to keep the stray cat food dry. The new arrangement seems much more secure and actually would provide some shelter if an animal needed it. I needed to move the big blue bin further from the back door because it was too close to the door and hard to navigate. I think the new arrangement will work great. I also shoveled some of the snow in front of the patio to hopefully keep a giant snowbank from forming ! I sat down with a cup of pudding when I came back inside and the garbage men came just after 3, so I went out and got the bin. It feels so good to have all these tasks done ! The snowy weather we've had for the past 1 week + really dragged me down but I feel better today.

It's nearly 3:30 pm and it's 34 degrees according to my weather app. Rain is coming and temps are supposed to be 40+ for the next 2 days. Hopefully a lot of the snow will melt and I won't end up in a cave this year ! I say that knowing full well we have another 2 months of winter !

Today is the last day I'll have the Christmas lights on in the kitchen and porch. It's always sad to see that end so I plan to enjoy the tree for a couple more days. I won't have time to take it down tomorrow so I might as well enjoy it !

** written January 8 **

I didn't intend to get online tonight but I was doom scrolling Facebook and saw people complaining about huge jumps in their National Grid bills. They increase the bill every year so this is nothing new. I hopped into my email to see if I had received my new bill, and I had. Yep, this month's bill is about $100 more than last month, but I'm not surprised. December was unusually cold - much colder than last year - and all the wind we had made my heat have to work harder to keep the house warm. I also used my electric blanket and a space heater more than I ever have. I'll be interested to see what next month's bill looks like since it will reflect a full month with the new meter and I don't think it's been quite so cold. I always expect one or 2 winter heating bills in the $300+ range (last February's bills was about $334) so I wasn't freaking out. I guess I am fortunate to be able to afford this bill !

So what else have I been up to since Tuesday ? Well, Wednesday was bingo and that was fun even though we didn't win. Kim actually had a winning card but missed out because our waitress was talking to us. I had my usual 2 beers and a flatbread pepperoni pizza. I was concerned about the drive home as the DJ told everyone at the end to be careful as he'd heard the rain had frozen on the roads. I had no idea it rained and I don't even think it was predicted, so of course I was afraid of what I might encounter. In the end the roads were perfectly fine and it was barely sprinkling all the way home. Spring Street was slippery because it was still snow covered but I made it home safely. Yesterday I motivated myself and made a big pot of sloppy joe. I had it for dinner and it didn't seem as flavorful as expected. I followed my recipe exactly so I knew I hadn't goofed up. I had it for lunch and dinner today and the flavor was amazing. I guess I was too eager to have some and the flavors hadn't had time to mellow. Tomorrow I will freeze whatever is left. I didn't do anything else yesterday but today I threw on some clothes and went out to clean up the remaining snow in the driveway. There wasn't much but I scraped off as much as I could since it was nearly 50 degrees ! I'm always happy when I can see the entire driveway from side to side and top to bottom in winter ! I have much less trouble backing out of the garage now since I pull in crooked, but I still watch the sides of the driveway carefully - since I got stuck last winter ! I was going to try pushing some snow off the porch room (from my bedroom windows) but I have yet to try that. I might give it a shot tomorrow. There is not a ton like last year, so I'm not concerned about the roof caving in. I just don't want to give it the chance to build up like last year.

I have nothing else going on. I do need to make a post office run as I'm sure my property tax bill is waiting for me. I'll go one day next week. I might go on Tuesday and treat myself to Chinese food while I'm out. Speaking of food, diet and exercise remains on my mind. I have one last serving of ice cream in the freezer and then I'll be done with that. I have 1 day worth of butter cookies and then those will be gone. What I eat for breakfast is always covered: pancakes, waffles, oatmeal or scrambled eggs. Lunch is a challenge. I can't keep eating canned ravioli or pizza. I need to get salad and veggies back in rotation as well. I have fruit and cottage cheese for snacking and I still have Nutrisystem protein shake mix. Dinner is another challenge. I can't have pizza every night. So I need to buy some chicken and start having that with veggies and/or salad. Evening snack is a pudding cup with whipped cream and that's fine. I need to get back on a schedule of eating as right now I just eat when I'm hungry. The problem with that is I usually wait until I'm starving and want something quick and easy. Exercise should be easy enough to get started but I'm having trouble finding motivation to get off the couch. Sunday February 1 will be here before I know it and I'm determined to "get started" before it gets here.

So what do I do all day ? I watch YouTube, scroll through my phone apps and I play online games, mostly Jackpot World. I am hopelessly addicted to that game and I did spend real money a couple times (about $5-6) but I'm not doing that anymore. It started out with something that cost $2.99 about every 3 weeks, which was reasonable. However, it seems they offer you that a couple times and then it bumped up to $4.99. Well, sorry I'm not paying that amount. I've stopped trying to be #1 and I just play with what I earn for free. I have 2 accounts, so working on building the newer account keeps the game fun. The game algorithm dictates how much you win and when you win, so spending real money makes no sense. Right now my newer account is on fire and my older account is tanking. Casino's are the same. I can remember going to Turning Stone and not being able to win anything ... but suddenly one day every machine I touched would pay. I won over $1000 one day because every machine was paying out. I stopped spending my money at the casino before I was laid off and I've never regretted that decision. I'd rather lose fake coins for free at home ! On that note, it's after 10 pm and I'm getting tired. Time for some online slots (Jackpot World resets at 10 pm) and then I'm heading to bed.